Staying Motivated
Every time we commit to a weight-loss game plan, or healthier eating plan, or not so many treats (except sometimes) or… some important goal, we are enthusiastic, motivated, determined to stick to it.
We’re going to do it! Cauliflower rice? I’m in. Spend 30 mins on Sunday planning so can go grocery shopping once and only once? Oh yeah!
Then…
Life…
…several weeks or months in, creatures of habits that we are, there are a few more takeout orders. Despite the difficult breakup with sugar, there was still that carton of ice cream in the freezer… Those morning workouts? Not happening.
No matter what part of life you are trying to improve, somewhere in the transition from “need for change” and “sustainable success” is “change is really hard” and then burnout.
That’s where I come in.
Please don’t put up your hands in defeat and go back to your pre-goal life.
Understanding any "plateau," implementation "dip" or "kerfluffle"…
Creating change is no easy task. Or perhaps you haven’t hit your magic target yet.
Am I speaking your language?
First thing to do is revisit your original problem you wanted to solve. Give it a good, hard, direct, look.
Next, look at where you are now.
What has changed? What have YOU changed? It’s been only a few weeks.
Stagnation is 100 percent normal. Why? Your “new normal” has to catch up with your “head.” Here’s the problem:
- Your “head” hasn’t quite replaced the routine deserts after dinner, cookies (“it was just two”) at lunch… with your new decision to grab an apple instead.
- Your “head” is still missing it’s love affair with all the added sugars in our prepared foods (which sets off the brain’s reward centers, so of course it will).
- Your “head” hasn’t quite adopted the “do something active daily” (even if simple and short) every day.
- Your “head” hasn’t yet gotten used to new routines, and, until it does, staying at this level of greatness feels like work—and there will be days when that “head” wins.
- Your “head” may be hearing “other ideas” (this isn’t good).
Everyone in the WORLD has a “dip”! It isn’t just you; you have NOT failed.
Whether starting a new job, or a new relationship with vegetables, your “head” has to catch up with your personal intentions to be amazing (or whatever your goal). And while that’s happening, everyone has the thought called “wow, that’s a lot to take on.”
Firstly, please realize a dip is an inevitable part of tackling a goal of any kind. Change is hard. Instead of second guessing your intentions, your decision to do it in the first place, or (gah!) feeling like a failure, just recognize it for what it is.
You can completely get past it! After all, it is a “dip”, not a bottomless pit.
How to reset your foundation (and handle your “head”)
1. Revisit your goal.
Don’t lose sight of why you started your nutrition and lifestyle plan; revisit it.
- What inspired you to consider these changes?
- If you’re working towards a particular number, how did you arrive at it? Is that a healthy goal for your body? What was it when you started?
- Beyond a number on the scale, what does success look like to you? How does it feel?
- What will your life be like when you’ve achieved your goal?
This can start out awkward, do really try to get into it. Six months or a year from now, where do you want to be and why? Then look over how that will impact other areas of your life. Give it the correct order of magnitude of importance.
2. Set a short term goal
You have your sights on something in the distance. Excellent. Now break it down. Summiting Everest involves smaller, shorter goals… one foot in front of the next. Eventually you arrive.
Always focus on doable, namable, and measurable short term goals that move in the direction toward your long-term goal, you will get there.
Make one change at a time. Whether you are a client in my Nutrition Response Testing program where I can provide very individualized guidance for unique situations, or following this self-paced, “do it yourself” step-by-step companion for change, it is vital to take one step—feel comfortable with that step—and then take the next.
It can honestly be as simple as “I’m setting aside an hour, first thing on Saturday, to read the Eating to Restore Balance steps for the coming week”. That’s a perfectly good goal.
Other changes could be cut out deserts except for Sundays, or eat an extra serving of veggies at every meal, or go from 9,000 to 10,000 steps this week… and then actually really track it so you know what you accomplished.
3. Track something (but not your weight)
Numbers on the scale aren’t always what matters—in fact, this can be the biggest source of disappointment and self-sabotage. I measure other things like circumferences and body fat.
- Did you drop a pant size?
- Do clothes fit better?
- Is your blood pressure improving?
- Is your skin less dry?
- Did the acne, rash, hives… lessen and look like they are healing?
Making lifestyle changes impacts your mental and emotional health also.
- Are you feeling more confident?
- Any changes in your anxiety level?
- Are you sleeping better?
- Increased energy?
These non-weight victories are key to making your health transformation last.
4. Decide on your approach and stick to it.
Everyone is jumping on the nutrition bandwagon these days. That’s a good thing and probably the only solution to our healthcare crisis.
There are some very good and skilled nutritional clinicians—and then there are people whose approach is too “one size fits all”—and perhaps the worst are the sheer volumes of websites selling some magic supplement for something they’ve convinced you is important or might be helpful. Not to mention the “social media compare-a-thon rabbit hole” of “my friend down the street cured her ___ with ___.”
Before you reach for that next pretty, shiny, “solution” ask:
Do these sources really understand your unique situation?
Are they truly listening?
Will they be accountable to my results?
Gosh some are good at their marketing; unfortunately, that can cause you to keep changing directions so many times you’ve just gone around in circles.
Take the path that makes the most sense—give it enough time—don’t invite too many chefs… Ignore all the other bright ideas and traps and shiny objects that won’t get the “big bang for the buck”. Clinical mastery sorts out what is important, from what is “noise.” Most of the “shiny objects are “noise”.
It takes 30 days to make a habit. It takes 30 days to break a habit and it takes another 30 to make a new habit that replaces the one you want to break. It takes 10,000 repetitions to perfect a repeatable skilled action – like pitching a fast ball on the lower inside corner, a golf drive, a ski turn to the right, etc. A professional makes sure to get everything perfect; a recreational participant has fun and achieves different goals.
If you discover that you’ve forgotten a commitment, just acknowledge that you forgot the commitment. No shame, blame, guilt or excuses. Decide if it is still appropriate and, if it is, recommit. Find your sweet spot.
5. Touch base with an expert
You knew what to do and did the obvious on your own. That’s great!
I’ve known people who solve their type II diabetes by completely handling their diet. I’ve known others who didn’t want to be put on cholesterol medications so they increased the numbers of plants on their plate. Very well done!
But if it gets complicated or you aren’t making progress, call in expert help. You probably know what you are doing; sometimes there are deeper layers. In fact, my favorite clients are those who come to me having already made some changes. After a few tweaks to round out the good habits already in place, they are back moving in the direction they want.
6. Find an accountability buddy
Don’t go it alone. Create a buddy system! Cheer each other on, share your struggles… Someone at home, in your locale, your workplace… your trusted expert. Create a routine and keep your agreement with that person. Ideas:
- Walking and talking: Meet for an outdoor walk or hike one evening a week; “high fives” when you are done!
- Meet at the gym: ditto
- Mutual agreement: Request that one item you can’t pass up not be brought home.
- Partners in health: Engage a friend, then call each other once a week and discuss successes, failures, get support.
- Ditch the coupons: That sale item might not be so good for you. Help each other plan and economize.
- Exchange cooking: It’s “old school” but we don’t cook for ourselves as well as we cook for others. At least once a week, create a meal for your buddy and another day them for you. (And add these recipes to your “favorites” binder for future use.)
- Create a routine for whatever you choose.
7. Take a picture of yourself (with your accountability buddy).
Alternately, post an older picture of yourself where you look really happy, when you looked and felt better.
Post these on the mirror you use every morning. Use it to motivate yourself and cultivate a feel-good mindset that can trickle over into all areas of your life. Totally worth a try!
8. Put the S.M.A.C.K. F down
It’s OK to retire goals you have achieved, of course, and also those that aren’t working.
If they aren’t working: Was it really, truly, the right goal? Do your soul-searching. Really think about what you really want to accomplish (as opposed to what you think you should want or what someone else says you should want).
And please make sure your goal is “Smack F” (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Committed, Keep going, and Fun. Look, change is not always fun—so make sure the goal is because that is how you get through he plateaus and hiccups and dips.